Forbidden Love : Inter-Caste Love Story of Deepak and Basanta
प्रकाशित मिति : जेष्ठ १९, २०७७ सोमबार
Deepak Pariyar and Basanta Khadka, who are now living in New York, USA, had intercaste marriage almost 20 years ago, in Nepal. However, they had to fight hard to save and legalize the marriage.
In the year 2054 BS, Deepak Pariyar was working in Naya Disha Daily in Butwal. Basanta Khadka used to live with her relatives in Butwal to study CMA.
Since they live in the same town, they used to meet from time to time. Deepak used to go to his relative’s house to deliver newspapers. That’s when they first met. They used to meet because they were close ideologically.
Deepak recalls – ‘As soon as I saw her, my inclination towards her increased. Later, it turned into love. Our love was very simple.
After finishing her studies, Basanta returned to Pyuthan Okharkot. After returning to Pyuthan, they could not meet for a long time. When Deepak reached Pyuthan in the year 2056 BS for the Bhailo program, they met again. They came together in the same car while attending a women’s social event.
A local leader conspired to stop the marriage after speculating that they might get married and run away from the event. After that, Basanta was sent back, saying that she had to go home as her father was ill. However, Deepak and Basanta had no plans to get married at the event.
Basanta returned home because her father was sick. Deepak returned to Butwal. But when she reached home, her father was not ill, and she realized that it was a lie to separate them. Deepak was in Butwal. Meanwhile, there was talk of Basantha marrying someone else. At that time, there was no mobile phone facility. She remembers calling Deepak’s office and informing him about her situation.
“I had to rebel and leave, or I had to marry the person my family told me to. I did not meet Deepak Ji while calling the office of the Newspaper. I informed Suman Adhikari, the editor of the Newspaper. He suggested me to come to Butwal immediately.”
The next day she planned to run away to Butwal. Deepak even sent a man from Butwal to pick her up. Before leaving for Butwal, Basanta met her maternal grandmother. Then she left the house under the pretext of meeting her brother, who was studying in Bijuwar and Mom’s sister nearby. But she planned to come to Butwal. She walked for about 2 hours from home. The person sent from Butwal had already reached there.
There was a sister’s hotel in Damti. She sat there for a while and drank tea. When the sister asked where she was going, Basanta said that she was going to visit her brother in Bijuwar. Then Basanta came to Vijuwar with the person sent to pick her up from Butwal.
No bus was found from Bijuwar to Bhaluwang. After that, the two paid Rs 1,500 and reserved a bus. Then Bhaluwang came on the bus. But one person saw the bus coming after reserving it. Then the rumor that Basanta had run away from the person who had gone to fetch Basanta spread to the village.
After the arrival of Bhaluwang, arrangements were made to come to Butwal from there. Most of Basanta’s relatives were busy at the party’s national convention, so no one found out. Deepak reached Bhaluwang with some friends. And the next day, he came to Butwal on a public bus with Basanta. Then he came and sat with a friend in the ThutePipal.
It was planned to cross the border and go to India the next day. Because if he had stayed in Nepal, there would have been a possibility of dissolving the marriage after Basanta’s relatives found out. So the next morning, they reached India by rickshaw from Sunauli border. Since Deepak’s father was in the Indian Army and Deepak frequently used to go to India, he had all the ideas about that.
Deepak’s uncle’s house in Gorakhpur was also comfortable for them. They crossed the border and drove from Sunauli to their uncle’s house in Gorakhpur. Only then did they feel safe.
Deepak recalls – ‘Then we planned to have a wedding program to legalize the marriage. Father from Kanpur and sisters from Nepal also came to Gorakhpur. Some journalists from Butwal also went. Then we got married there as usual. The photo was printed and sent to the Newspaper.
When the news of inter-caste marriage came in the Newspaper, there was a commotion everywhere. News of Deepak and Basanta’s marriage spread to Pyuthan through Butwal.
Although everyone was a cadre of Mohan Bikram Singh’s party, some of Basanta’s relatives came out against the marriage. After that, some people from Basanta’s relatives came looking for Deepak from Kapilbastu’s house to Butwal. They have been searching for Deepak in almost all the places he came in contact with. Since Basanta was married to Pariyar, they were planning to return her anyway.
Deepak and Basanta got married in Gorakhpur on September 19 and moved to Kanpur. As Deepak’s father lives in Kanpur, it was not difficult for him there. They even created legal documents to legalize the marriage. The father organized a wedding party at the Army Colony in Kanpur.
‘In the Army Colony, I got married for the third time to make Basanta more socially strong. Because we were planning to establish and legalize the marriage anyway, ”said Deepak.
Although Basanta’s relatives went to Kanpur, they planned to meet Deepak and Basanta and release the couple. It is strange that most of those who tried to get rid of the interracial couple were self-proclaimed communists. As the political parties were the same, they had to come to Kanpur only using the channels of the political parties.
They created pressure on the party’s central office. The party’s central office wrote a letter to the Kanpur Municipal Committee of the local party channel Ekta Samaj in Kanpur asking them to arrange a meeting with Deepak Pariyar and his wife, Basanta Khadka.
After that, four persons took the letter and contacted the Kanpur Municipal Committee of Ekta Samaj to return Basanta. Ekta Samaj held a meeting. Basanta’s relatives aggressively told Deepak, “You should have taken Sarkini away; you will spoil our daughter.”
Deepak said calmly – “We are both adults. So we got married willingly. If you feel that I have brought her forcefully, talk to her in private. If she wants to go, you can take her. ‘
There were disputes between the two sides for some time. Basanta was taken away by her relatives and talked to. Basanta said that she would not return now and would visit him in a couple of months. When they did not have any skills, they returned. Basanta, Deepak, and Ekta Samaj people put them in a rickshaw and bade them farewell.
For about a year, Basanta and Deepak opened a bookstore and settled in Delhi. The party did all the support for the bookstore. He also participated in various political events there.
About a year later, Deepak and Basanta returned to Butwal. Deepak stayed for a month and then returned to Delhi. Basanta stayed at Deepak’s house in Kapilbastu for about three months. Later, Deepak also returned from Delhi, and both of them started living in Butwal. Deepak began to working as the managing director of Naya Disha Newspaper, which he used to sell.
Basanta remembers meeting her mother for the first time after her marriage. But when she reached her aunt’s house in Shivpur of Kapilbastu, her father refused to come to Butwal. Only her aunt and mom came to Butwal. Although I went to Dang to sit for the Public Service Commission exam at that time, I came to Butwal when I found out that my mother had come to Butwal.
Three or four months later, Basanta is still emotional when she remembers visiting her father. At that time, they had been married for two years. Basanta says – ‘Father came to Butwal to meet me. I went downstairs to see my father. But as soon as he saw my face, he started crying. And returned without saying anything. I went after him. But my father did not wait. ‘
About four years after the marriage, Basanta went to her mother’s house in Pyuthan. No one asked her why she was married. However, it was becoming difficult for everyone to accept the marriage. After living with her mother for about a month, Basanta gradually improved.
Deepak was also invited to the Kul Puja a month later. Deepak was excited when he visited his in-laws for the first time after four years of marriage. But I did not dare to go alone. He then took a local leader on a motorcycle to his in-laws’ village at around 8 pm. Before going straight to Basanta’s home, Deepak stayed in Basanta’s Uncles house.
The next morning, plans were made to bring Deepak inside the in-laws’ house. Deepak remembers – “At that time when I was admitted to the in-laws, it was like entering the bride.” At first, Basanta’s brother in law took Deepak straight to the floor of Totem. He was a little progressive thinker. After that, the parents formally accepted him as a son-in-law.
After that, the relationship with the in-laws started getting better. Basanta’s relatives also accepted Deepak as his son-in-law. He became the managing director of Deepak Butwal’s Naya Disha daily and worked as the director of Radio Jagaran and treasurer of Jagaran Media Center. Basanta worked for the Dalit Women’s Association in Butwal and also for four years at Butwal Hospital. During this time, they visited Basanta’s family several times. Meanwhile, Basanta’s parents started accepting Deepak with more affection.
Deepak, who worked as the general secretary and first vice-president of the Jagaran Media Center, and says, “I don’t feel discriminated against when I go there. They do not discriminate me anymore.”